3 ways you might be ghosting yourself

Hiiii 👋🏾

Today we’re talking ghosting—but not in the way you might think 👀

It sucks that in this day and age, I can assume you’ve probably experienced it at least once. And not just in dating. It could be a job interview that led to radio silence. A friend who slowly disappeared. Any moment where someone vanished—no explanation, no closure.

But here’s the thing: we do it to ourselves all the time.

Not necessarily in some big, dramatic way.

More often, it’s quiet. Subtle. It happens in the moments where we dismiss our own needs, avoid our own feelings, and check out of our own lives.

So before we get into it (you know what I’m about to say)… I hope you’re somewhere cozy with a beverage of choice.

It’s time for some Sunday self-exploration!

As always I have a lesson, 3 questions and a dare for you!

[A LESSON]

We all like to think we’re pretty self-aware. Spoiler: we aren’t.

In fact, according to researcher Tasha Eurich, only 10-15% of people actually are.

And within the context of this conversation, it’s worth noting that awareness isn’t the same as attention.

That percentage is probably even smaller when it comes to self-attention—not just knowing yourself, but actively noticing and responding to what your body and mind need in the moment.

If you’ve ever:
- Pushed down a feeling because it wasn’t the right time to deal with it
- Kept yourself busy so you didn’t have to think too much
- Scrolled, binged, or distracted your way through discomfort

…you know what it means to ghost yourself.

Psychologists call this emotional avoidance—the habit of dodging uncomfortable feelings instead of engaging with them. It’s a coping mechanism, but long-term? It disconnects us from ourselves.

And here’s where it gets tricky: most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it.

Because self-avoidance doesn’t always look like neglect. Sometimes, it looks like:

1. Hustle (If I stay busy, I won’t have time to think.)

2. Productivity (If I’m achieving, I must be okay.)

3. Keeping it together (If I don’t let myself feel this, I can keep moving forward.)

But when you constantly override what you need, you stop trusting yourself.

And without that trust, you feel lost.

So how do you stop?

You start showing up a little more!

Think of your relationship with yourself like a real friendship.

If a friend ignored your messages, brushed off your feelings, and never followed through on plans, you’d stop relying on them, right?

Well the same goes for your relationship with you.

So let’s change that. Here are 3 ways:

1️⃣ Pause before you distract yourself. Next time you instinctively reach for your phone, open Netflix, or refresh your inbox, stop for a second. Ask: What am I avoiding right now? Just notice. No judgment.

2️⃣ Check in with your body. What sensations are you carrying? Tension? Restlessness? Fatigue? Research in somatic psychology suggests that emotions live in the body—when we ignore them, they don’t disappear, they get stored. Instead of pushing past them, take a moment to acknowledge what’s there.

3️⃣ Follow through on one small self-promise. It could be as simple as drinking water when you’re thirsty, resting when you’re tired, or speaking up when something doesn’t feel right. Every time you do, you rebuild trust with yourself—and self-trust is the foundation of self-awareness.

Because avoiding yourself is easy. Being with yourself? That’s where the real work (and the real growth) begins.

[3 QUESTIONS ]

1. What’s one feeling or thought you’ve been pushing aside recently?

2. When was the last time you ignored what you really needed in the moment?

3. How can you show up for yourself today—even in a small way?

[A DARE]

Okay, I dare you…

to stop ghosting yourself for a day.

Pick one day next week, and for 24 hours I dare you to try actually listen—to your body, your emotions, your instincts. No brushing things off. No postponing your needs. Just paying attention and responding with care.

Then check in on how your relationship is feeling, with you!

[COMMUNITY BOARD]

I can’t believe this was already 2 weeks ago! Jeeez a time was had!

A group of us gathered for the Self-Dating experience in Toronto —and I can assure you there was no ghosting. Green flags only. It was the perfect reminder that being with yourself isn’t about isolation. It’s about attention. And it can be done in community.

If you’re ready to practice showing up for yourself in a deeper way, join the waitlist for the next one > here

As always, hit reply if you have any thoughts, questions, or suggestions.

Looking forward to hearing how the self-exploration goes!

See you on a Sunday,
L

P.S. We adore the community we’re building with this newsletter and we’d love to invite a few more folks. Do you have a friend you think might also enjoy some Sunday self-exploration?

If so, we’d be eternally grateful if you forward them this email or let them know they can »> Sign up here «<