How's your emotional literacy?

Hi, friend!

Big news on this end: we found somewhere to live!!

Which means I currently have 27 IKEA tabs open (and one dedicated to meter/cm conversions).

You know that feeling we talked about last week- the one you get from aspirational Pinterest boards and YouTube vlogs? That sense of possibility? Wonder. Excitement. Foreboding joy. Planning a new space has a very similar energy.

The promise of a new way of being…

And after almost 2 years of living out of suitcases, in terms of furniture and homey ‘things’, we need almost everything.

Almost.

Because I’ve known for a long time what will be sitting on our living room coffee table:

Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart.

Who needs a sofa or chairs when you have a coffee table book 😅

I started reading it [listening on Audible] when it came out in 2021, but stopped halfway through - not because it wasn’t good, but because I knew it was a physical book experience.

The kind you leave open. The kind people flip through when they come over.

If you know me, you know I’m the type of person who will ask how you are, then make you find the emotion that actually fits. So friends… consider this your official warning.

If this is the first time you’re hearing about Atlas of the Heart, it really is just that: a map. A framework and language for understanding our inner world. It details 87 emotions and experiences that every single one of us moves through.

Which is wild, because when asked how we feel, most of us can only name three:

Happy
Sad
Mad

We’re somehow missing the remaining 84.

And while that’s a little embarrassing, given in many ways emotions are the language of being human, the real cost is this:

When we can’t name what we feel, we can’t make sense of it.
We can’t tell the people in our lives what’s actually going on inside us.
We can’t regulate it.
We can’t ask for what we need.
We can’t build real, honest connection.

So I figured this is something we could explore together this week.

You already know where I am…

So go and get yourself situated, too.

As always, I have a lesson, three questions, and a dare for you.

[LESSON]

“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” — Ludwig Wittgenstein

Honestly, this could be the entire lesson.

Because language isn’t just how we communicate - it’s how we make meaning.

It’s how we understand ourselves.
It’s how we process what happens to us.
It’s how we let other people in.

Having access to the right words can open entire universes.

And when we don’t have the language for an experience, we don’t just stay silent, we stay stuck.

We struggle to:

• understand what’s happening inside us

• move through emotions productively

• ask for support

• develop real self-awareness

Here’s the powerful reframe:

Naming an experience doesn’t give it more power. It gives you the power of understanding.

In psychology, this skill is called emotional granularity — the ability to identify and label emotions with precision.

And it is genuinely life-changing.

Let me show you the difference.

Say something happens and the only language you have is

“I feel sad.”

That sadness becomes heavy and confusing.
You don’t know what to do with it. So you withdraw. Or overthink. Or numb out.

But with a broader emotional vocabulary, that same moment might become:

• I feel disappointed because this mattered to me.

• I feel rejected because I wanted to belong.

• I feel powerless because I didn’t have control in that moment.

• I feel grief because something I hoped for didn’t happen.

Do you see how different those are?

Each one points to:

A different need
A different conversation
A different form of self-compassion
A different next step

This is why emotional literacy changes how we live.

It improves our relationships — because we can tell the truth about our experience.
It improves our decision-making — because we understand what our emotions are signalling.
It improves our regulation — because clarity reduces overwhelm.
It deepens our self-trust — because we can accurately interpret our inner world.

And maybe most importantly:

It allows us to feel seen by ourselves.

Now, I get that moving from 3 emotions to 87 is a big leap. This isn’t something you master overnight.

Which is why my very practical plan is simply this: Have the Atlas sitting in the middle of my living room. So when a feeling shows up, instead of spiralling or suppressing it, I can open the book and ask: Where am I on the map right now?

I promise this isn’t an ad for the book. There are so many ways to build this skill — Brown has free resources, there are emotion wheels, lists, apps.

And here is Brown’s list of the 87 emotions for you to download right now.

Because I don’t know about you, but existing in the world right now is bringing up a lot of feelings.

And my hope, for me and for you, is that developing a more precise language for them will at least help make our inner world a little calmer.

And clarity is regulating.
Clarity is grounding.
Clarity is power.

And we could all do with a little more of that right now.

[3 QUESTIONS]

1. When you say “I feel stressed” or “I feel sad,” what might be the more precise emotion underneath that general label?

2. In your current season of life, which emotions are you experiencing most often - but not fully acknowledging or naming?

3. Where in your life would greater emotional clarity change the way you communicate or show up? (Work? Dating? Friendships? Family? Your relationship with yourself?)

[A DARE]

For the next 24 hours, practice emotional granularity in real time.

At one or two moments in your day:

Pause and ask: What am I feeling, exactly?

Not good.
Not bad.
Not fine.

Be specific.

If it helps, use this sentence starter:

“I feel ___ because ___, and what I need right now is ___.”

Then notice:

Where do you feel it in your body?
What shifts when you name it accurately?
Do you feel more clarity? More softness? More direction?

That’s the power of language.
That’s the expansion of your world.

Emotional literacy isn’t about becoming hyper-analytical or turning every feeling into a processing session.

It’s about moving through life with more precision, more self-understanding, and more honest connection.

It’s about being able to say: “This is what’s happening inside me.” And trusting that it makes sense.

So this week, your work isn’t to feel differently. It’s to get better at naming what’s already there.

Because the more words you have for your inner world, the more worlds become available to you.

See you on a Sunday,
L