What about your other self-concepts?

Well hello there,

It’s lovely to see you (again) on this fine Sunday morning!

We’re heading back to school today - brace yourself, ‘nerdy Lauren’ has written today’s email. 🤓 

Enjoy!

I still remember my first Self and Identity lecture at Harvard. I logged on (it was during COVID - ugh), and the professor was playing the Hamilton soundtrack. Definitely not what I was expecting... but I instantly knew I’d found my place. Those six months expanded my mind in all sorts of ways.

The first piece of research we explored was a chapter on Self, Self-Concept, and Identity. 

It took me about four days to finish it, but it completely shifted how I thought about identity, and may have been the very catalyst that led me to today, writing this newsletter for you.

It was so validating and unnecessarily confusing all at the same time.

Despite leaving with some cool terminology and theory, my main takeaway was - identity is a joke.

That’s not to dismiss the profound impact it has on our lives, but when you really sit and read all the “great,” “smart” perspectives on it, we still don’t really understand what it is and how it works.

Self, Identity, and Self-Concept are all mental constructs (something represented in memory) that are shaped by context. Meaning that despite the number of impressive articles, labels, and theories, at the end of the day, they are abstract, ephemeral things that defy concrete definitions. And as much as we, as humans, want to tie it down into something fixed and black-and-white, it just doesn’t work.

It was that moment I realized: Identity is everything and nothing. It’s one of the most fascinating and infuriating things. It’s this and that, and that and this, but not that, unless it’s with this… 🙃

No one really knows what it is or how it works, which is why my work now centers on putting more of the power back into your hands - for you to decide what it means for YOU.

So, as I said upfront, we’re heading back to school. And we’re starting with Self-Concept.

As always, I have a lesson, three questions, and a dare for you. Let’s do this!

[A LESSON]

Lately, the term self-concept has been making the rounds on TikTok.

But what does it actually mean? And how is it different from identity or identities?

Let’s break it down:

• Self-concepts are mental blueprints - what you believe about yourself, how you interpret your experiences, and how you define your worth. It’s the internal story you tell about who you are.

• Identity is a term that refers to the qualities, beliefs, and values that define you. It’s what makes you you. It can be used like ‘self-concept’ or a way of making sense of some aspect or part of self-concept.

• Identities (plural) are the different roles, traits, and group memberships that shape your identity. You’re not just one thing—you’re a collection of identities that shift depending on context.

• Honorary mention - Selfhood - is the container that holds all of these shifting identities and self-concepts. It’s the vast, evolving experience of being you. Instead of reducing yourself to one dominant narrative, selfhood invites you to embrace the full spectrum of who you are—your contradictions, your growth, your multiple ways of being.

So, while your self-concept is the internal narrative, your identities are the different puzzle pieces that contribute to that story.

And here’s where it gets interesting: you don’t have just one self-concept. You have multiple, often centered around the identities that society deems most important - e.g. your race, gender, career, relationships, etc.

The Research Behind Your Self-Concept(s)

Psychologists Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius introduced the concept of possible selves— the different versions of yourself you imagine becoming, avoiding, or maintaining. Some of these are aspirational (“future CEO me”), while others are shaped by fear (“I hope I don’t become my parents”).

Then there’s the working self-concept—the version of “you” that’s most active in any given moment. At work, you may see yourself as a leader, but at home, your self-concept might shift to caretaker or free spirit. Your self-concept adapts based on your environment, the people around you, and the identities you prioritize in that context.

The problem? Most of us only focus on a few dominant self-concepts, often dictated by external expectations.

For example, if your career is your dominant self-concept, success or failure at work can feel like success or failure as a person. If your self-concept is deeply tied to your relationships, being single might feel like a personal flaw rather than a circumstance.

ALSO (sorry) your self-concept isn’t just one-dimensional, it also shifts depending on perspective.

Here are some different structures through which you might view yourself:

• Me – The way you see yourself internally

• Us – The way you see yourself as part of a group

• Now – Your present self

• Future – The self you aspire to be

• Mind’s Eye – How you imagine yourself

• Eyes of Others – How you think others see you

Each of these perspectives can influence the way you think, feel, and behave in different situations.

For example, researchers conducted an experiment where participants were primed to think about either ‘Me’ or ‘Us’ before completing a memory task. Both groups were shown 64 unrelated objects on a page and asked to recall them later.

Here’s what happened:

• Both groups were equally good at remembering the objects themselves.

• But the ‘Us’ primed group performed better on a surprise part of the memory task that asked where the objects were located on the page.

• The ‘Me’ primed group remembered the objects - but not the relationships between them.

Interesting.

And may also be demonstrating that when we think of ourselves as part of a group, we naturally become better at noticing connections, patterns, and relationships. Vs when we’re more focused on Me, we may see the details but miss the bigger picture.

So back to the title of today’s email - what about your other self-concepts? 

The ones that rarely get airtime? The versions of you that exist beyond what the world deems most important? We are here to represent them and nudge you towards spending a little more time exploring (and enjoying) them.

[3 QUESTIONS ]

1. What identities have shaped your primary self-concept? How did those become dominant?
   

2. If your self-concept were a playlist, what would be the title and first three songs?
   

3. What’s an identity you’ve rejected in yourself that might deserve a second look?
   

[A DARE]

Okay, I dare you…

Write 10 “I am” statements that you don’t normally use to define yourself. Go beyond job titles and relationships.

Who else are you?

Here ya go, you can take inspiration from mine (I had so much fun doing this).

And if you’re up for it, send me a picture of yours. I’d love to compile a list of all the things we are but rarely share.

[COMMUNITY BOARD]

If you’re not on it, you can get on it > HERE!

And I’m curious, do we like the nerdy science? Do you want more of it?

As always, my inbox is open to thoughts, questions, or suggestions.

See you on a Sunday!

L

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