What if you stopped forcing it? 👀

Happy Sunday Homies!

You know the drill: sofa, drink, journal. This is your Sunday self-exploration time.

Today’s question is simple, but potentially life-altering:

What would happen if you stopped forcing it?

I don’t mean stop trying or stop caring.
I mean stop micromanaging every outcome.

Stop performing.
Stop pushing through.
Stop trying to outwork your own exhaustion 👀

May was a transformative month for me - not because of some huge business win or external milestone (I actually made a third of what I made in April, lol), but because for the first time in a long time, I intentionally chose to rest.

To trust. To not be doing so much.

The past couple of years have been full-on hustle mode. In these 5 months alone, I’ve launched a new venture, lived in Mexico City, spent a month with family and reopened private coaching. Then we touched down in Toronto on the 27th April (yes, the same day as Self-Dating 🙃 ) and for the first time, in a long time, I could feel the space.

And honestly? It was so uncomfortable.
But also undeniable. Like something I couldn’t ignore.

This month, I stopped forcing.
I read. I walked. I let my to-do list sit half-finished.
I practiced just being, even when that felt unfamiliar.

And I’m leaving May feeling more grounded in myself than I have in years.

So if you’ve been in a season of striving, trying to make it all happen, maybe this is your invitation to pause, too.

To stop gripping.
To stop proving.
To stop confusing struggle with worth.

Because here’s the thing:

What if your next chapter isn’t about pushing harder, but softening into something wiser?

Let’s explore that today.

As always, I have a lesson, three questions, and a dare for you. Let’s do this!

[A LESSON]

So many of us were raised with the belief that anything worth having requires effort, struggle, and sacrifice. And while resilience is beautiful, it’s not the only way.

Sometimes the more courageous move is to - release.

To pause.
To listen.
To trust that you don’t need to grip so tightly to be safe.

This is especially true for my fellow recovering perfectionists, high-achievers, and those who've had to work twice as hard to get half as far. When your nervous system is trained to chase, ease can feel suspicious.

But there’s a difference between hard work and forcing.

Hard work is focused effort.
Forcing is fear in disguise.

It’s fear that if you don’t push, it won’t happen.
That you’ll fall behind. That you aren’t good enough.
That the life meant for you won’t stick around.

But here’s the truth: the most aligned things often do stick around. And they feel better when you’re not muscling your way through.

So if you’ve been in a season of “make it happen,” maybe it’s time to ask: What if I let it happen?

Instead of controlling the pace, can you stay in relationship with it?
Can you be the version of yourself who receives, not just the one who earns?

This isn’t about being passive. It’s about being present.
Listening for what’s alive instead of pushing what’s not.

The psychology behind it?

There’s a powerful body of research that helps us understand this:
Psychologists often distinguish between two ways of engaging with the world — primary control and secondary control.

• Primary control is about action. It’s trying to change your circumstances to suit your goals.

• Secondary control is about adaptation. It’s adjusting your mindset to align with what is, rather than fighting it.

Western cultures idolize primary control - push harder, go faster, climb higher. And for many of us, especially those who've had to prove themselves in systems not designed for them, this kind of effort became a survival strategy.

But the science is clear: over-reliance on primary control is linked to stress, rigidity, and burnout. It creates a nervous system that's constantly in "do more" mode, making it hard to rest, trust, or feel like enough.

What we often need is a return to psychological flexibility — the ability to stay open, present, and responsive to what’s happening, rather than reacting out of fear or control. This is one of the strongest predictors of well-being and long-term mental health.

In other words:
You don’t need to grip so tightly to get where you’re going. Sometimes softness is the strategy.

When you stop forcing, you make space for things to unfold in ways you couldn’t have scripted. You create space for softness, for surprises, for joy.

[3 QUESTIONS ]

1. What’s something you’ve been forcing that might be ready to flow?

2. What would trusting life look like this week?

3. Who might you be if you weren’t constantly proving something?

[A DARE]

This week I dare you to:

Try doing one thing with ease, even if your instinct is to push.

Whether it’s your creative work, your relationships, or your schedule… pick one area and experiment with trust.

Ask yourself: What would this look like if I didn’t need to prove anything?

You might be surprised at how much still gets done. And how much better it feels when it does.

[COMMUNITY BOARD]

SELF-DATERS…

SAVE THE DATE!!!!!!

🎉🚨 Sunday, June 22nd, 11-2pm 🚨🎉

More to come soon….

PRIVATE COACHING 

If you’re tired of your pattern of striving and ready to build from a place of enoughness, I have one private coaching spot open for June.

In just 6 weeks, you will feel more grounded in who you are and where you're headed.

We’ll use SELFHOOD Mapping — a structured, supportive, and psychologically sound path to self-transformation. It’s not about fixing or finding yourself. It’s about finally seeing yourself clearly enough to move differently.

If you’re interested > APPLY HERE <

If you’re interested, but have a couple of questions, BOOK A CALL.

I’m offering 3x FREE 30-minute calls the week of 9th June, all you need to do is reply to this email. Spots will be allocated on a first-come, first-served basis.

See you on a Sunday!

L

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