What we can learn from rivers

Hiiii friend 👋🏾

I read something the other day that said people are like rivers.

Or at least — we could be 👀

But before I get into it, you know the deal….

If you aren’t already, go find that cozy spot, grab your journal, and perhaps a snack or beverage whilst you’re at it. It’s time for some Sunday self-exploration!

SO,

When was the last time you stood beside a river?

I don’t mean metaphorically — I mean really stood there. 

Watched the way the water winds. The way it moves around every rock, every twist, every drop. It doesn’t freeze in place. It doesn’t panic at obstacles. It doesn’t pretend to be something it’s not.

It just… flows.

We could learn a lot from rivers.

As for many of us, we were taught to be the opposite.

Less river, more tree: fixed, steady, unshakable. Choose your path, stick to it. Be reliable. Be consistent. Don’t change your mind. Don’t disappoint anyone.

I used to think that was strength. That if I could just stay “on track,” I’d be okay. That certainty would save me. That identity had to be clear and unchanging. But I learnt pretty early on that in a world like this one, being flexible is actually the stronger move.

Especially now.

In the last few years, everything’s been shifting - jobs, relationships, truths we once relied on. It’s like the ground beneath us is moving, and so many people I talk to are exhausted from trying to pretend it’s not. From forcing themselves to stick to a version of life that isn’t working anymore.

So if someone hasn’t already told you, let me be the one to -

You’re not failing because you’re uncertain.
You’re not flaky because your path changed.
You’re not weak because you're letting go.

You’re just adjusting. Adapting. Learning to move like water instead of breaking like glass.

And I think that’s what this moment is calling for.

Let’s get into it.

It’s time for some Sunday self-exploration. 

As always, I have a lesson, three questions, and a dare for you. Let’s do this!

[A LESSON]

In psychology, there's a concept called psychological flexibility — the ability to adapt your thinking and behaviour in response to changing circumstances, without clinging too tightly to old patterns or identities.

Research shows that people with higher psychological flexibility experience lower anxiety, better emotional health, and greater resilience during uncertainty. Why? Because they don’t waste energy resisting reality. They allow themselves to shift.

But this isn’t easy.

Most of us were conditioned to associate “changing our mind” with failure. To equate flexibility with being lost or inconsistent. Especially if you’ve built your identity on being the reliable one, the achiever, the person with the 5-year plan.

So we dig in deeper. Stay in relationships that don’t fit. Pursue dreams we no longer want. Stick to versions of ourselves we’ve outgrown — just to feel stable in a world that no longer is.

But here’s the truth: rigid structures break. Fluid ones bend.
And right now, bendiness is a survival skill.

You’re allowed to change your mind.
You’re allowed to not know yet.
You’re allowed to become someone new.

In fact, you might need to — not because you’re lost, but because you’re alive.

The most honest thing you can do in a changing world is let yourself change too.

[3 QUESTIONS ]

1. Name three things you’ve changed your mind about in the last year?

2. If your life had no timeline, no pressure, and no judgment, what would you do next?

3. Where in your life are you holding on too tightly; to an idea, plan, or identity, even though it no longer feels right?
   

[A DARE]

This week, I dare you to…

Let go of one fixed idea you’ve been clinging to. Something you’ve been forcing.
Something that’s keeping you stuck.

Maybe it’s:

• A goal you’re no longer excited about

• A version of yourself you’re trying hard to maintain

• An old friendship that just doesn’t feel the same

Write it down. Say it out loud. Tell someone you trust.

I gave this exact advice to a client this week, and the shift was instant. When you let go of something outdated, notice how quickly that space gets filled. With clarity. With creativity. With a totally new direction you hadn’t even considered.

See what else becomes possible.
The more you release, the more room you create for what actually wants to find you.

[COMMUNITY BOARD]

SELF-DATING

Last Sunday was beautiful! Shout out to all the wonderful humans who explored and evolved their self-concept with us. We’re still feeling the positive effects!

COACHING

If you’re moving through your own transition and wanting a little more support, speed and guidance - SELFHOOD mapping is for you. Our 6-week private container where you’ll explore and become the person you want to be.

If you’re ready - APPLY HERE

If you’re curious but have questions - BOOK A CALL HERE  

See you on a Sunday!

L

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